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August Break 9 – Red (Or: Why There Is No Picture Today)

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So apparently, without my knowing it, I have been having an ongoing conversation with my feet for most of the summer.  And it looks like it’s been going something like this.

Me: Yay it’s summer!  I get to enjoy nice weather and cool breezes and soft grass!

My Feet: Mmm, yeah, walking in the soft grass, that is nice.

Me: And I can try to get back into jogging again!

My Feet: Hmm….okay, that’s new, but you have good sneakers for that with really good arch support and you’re taking it easy, we can go with this.

Me: And I can wear cute sandals to work instead of those boring stuffy old shoes!

My Feet:  Uh…okay, the arches on these sandals aren’t great, but…eh, you sit down at work, I…guess we’re good?

Me:  And I’m going to try hiking in the Catskills with a twisted ankle!

My Feet:  ….Okay, we’re….not thrilled about this.

Me: And then climb a thousand-foot rockface!

My Feet:  Yeah, that…that kind of isn’t helping either.

Me:  And I’ll go for walks on the weekends in those beat-up mules because it’s summer and who cares what my feet look like – I’m exploring!  Whee!

My Feet:  Um.  Okay, uh, see, these beat-up mules have this one patch that’s worn down to the foam rubber, could you maybe…not be doing this?

Me:  And then I’ll go to Paris and bring nothing but sandals!

My Feet:  This is getting kinda serious, here.

Me:  And I’ll walk everywhere there too!

My Feet:  Okay, come on, could you –

Me:  Like the full 5 kilometers of the Promenade Plantee!

My Feet:  Oh jeez.  Okay –

Me:  Oh, whee, I found these even cuter sandals in the back of my closet!

My Feet:  What the – okay, those sandals have no arches at all, what are you –

Me: Yay, more shoes that I can wear to work without having to wear smelly old socks!

My Feet:  Okay, see, here’s the thing about socks, okay?  They’re soft, and –

Me:  And then I’ll start walking home from the subway because it’s pretty and whee!  Exercise!

My Feet:  Oh good God.

Me:  Oh, look – it’s August.  I’ll be in Yosemite in a month – time to start planning the long distance hiking I’ll do!  Yay!!!

My Feet: (silence, then one toe holds up a tiny sign reading “UNION”)

So. I admit I partly brought this on myself.  But in the course of one night, my feet suddenly sprouted all of the following things at the same time – 

  • A callous on each heel
  • Two callouses on each side of the balls of each of my feet
  • Another callous on the bottom of my left big toe
  • A blister on the back of one heel
  • A blister on the bottoms of the fourth and fifth toes of my right foot
  • A blister between the second and third toes on my left foot
  • A blister on top of the third toe on my right foot
  • An ingrown toenail just next to that blister
  • Two more ingrown toenails
  • A bunion

….So – today’s August Break photo prompt was “Red”.  And – at this moment, the reddest things in my life right now are my feet.  And I suspect no one wants to see a picture of this, so….I’ll spare you all.



3 responses »

  1. I had a sudden callous in the joint of my big toe which turned out to be a wart.

  2. Pingback: Green Friday (Or: A Wish List For An Outdoors Person) | Outdoors, Woman!

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