I’ve jokingly warned my friends that for me, this is going to be “The Year Of Doing Shit.” This is actually a good change – a long string of bad luck and low energy and empty pockets forced me into a need-to-do-only mentality – focus on work, focus on home maintenance, focus just on keeping the bare minimum of self afloat. If someone had arranged some fun stuff for me, or invited me to something they’d already planned, I’d go, but I had no energy to plan much of anything myself.
So I took it as a very good sign a couple days into January when I suddenly made a huge list of Things I Wanted to Do this year. I was thinking of New Year’s resolutions (okay, yeah, it was a couple day’s late) and instead of the usual “get something published” or “eat more vegetables” kinds of things, I found myself making resolutions like “find a place that has proper English High Tea” or “go on one picnic each season” or “bake twice a month”. I filled up about two pages of a Moleskine with a huge List Of Awesome, and started making actual concrete plans to do some of them right away.
And then we got hit with Fimbulwinter for two months, and the cold and snow and yick kept me in my mole hole a little longer. And on top of that, I got hit with a couple of financial hiccups (I don’t have the best of options for paid time off right now, and a tax snafu also means I have to pay way more than I thought I would this year). And so more than a few times my roommate has come home to find me watching TV and too wiped to do much else.
But then today, I’ve suddenly been hit with the urge to add to my original List Of Awesome – and even do a couple things this weekend. I used to be in the habit of sometimes, when I was bored, going on a walk and just taking pictures – not really for anything or of anything in particular, just…looking for things that would be good pictures. I haven’t done that in years; but then just this morning, as I was scurrying to get ready for work, I passed the shelf where my camera is stashed and paused, looking at it. “Sunday’s supposed to be nice,” I thought…
Maybe the Doing-Shit impulse just needed to catch a second wind.